I must go. I only waited to say goodbye. Goodbye? Why, we’ve only just met.
Roman Holiday (1953) dir. William Wyler
I’ve come to terms with something that honestly has stunted for most of my life. Like I never felt safe or respected in school and was bullied by teachers and students at a young age. I was publicly shamed and basically refused by one teacher in particular that honestly trigged at 9/10 years old. She honestly made me fear everything because I knew I’d get yelled at if I asked for help and was even accused of cheating and that nothing I did mattered. I was also being bullied by kids at the time like almost all of my grade school career and the fact that I was getting this from a teacher is what really put me on edge. I hate her so much and she treated others like this I later find out. Understanding that the reason I hate school and I have this anxiety and fear and how it all sprouted helps. I was a kid who grew up being treated badly and as much as I try I was still held back by the trauma, I still had issues that I couldn’t get past. The hate I have for school and college is not from it themselves, but the horrible experiences I had at a young age from very influential years.
I’m moving back to Cali in a couple weeks and I’m so happy. I miss my friends and going to Disneyland whenever I wanted.
